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Ask FlyLady!
Ask FlyLady is one of our favorite parts of FlyLady.net. We get so many questions sent to us everyday, that we have decided to share some of these questions and FlyLady's answers with you. You may be surprised by what she has to say! Enjoy.
If you are looking for something specific on the site, please use the Google Search below.
If you would like to Ask FlyLady a question, send an email to AskFlyLady@FlyLady.net with Ask FlyLady in ths subject line. Please keep in mind that only questions chosen to be posted here will be answered due to the large volume of questons submitted.
Friday, July 4, 2008
Children's Clothes...
Dear FlyLady,
How many clothes do my children need. Their drawers are over flowing and so are their closets.
Dear Friend,
Now for your children's clothes.
Think about this the very same way as I teach you for your clothes. 7 outfits and 2 nice dress-up
outfits for church.
Underwear for a week.
Socks for a week, all the same color. Get each child a different
style, so you have no problems matching them at laundry time. You can
also use colored permanent markers to give each child a different
colored stripe on the toe or their initials.
3 pair of jeans
5 pair of shorts
2 jumpers or everyday dresses for girls
7 T-shirts or long sleeved shirts for winter.
2 sweat shirts
2 dress up out fits for church
1 casual outfit for going out to dinner, party etc.
Optional a sweater for cooler evenings.
1 winter coat
They will also need a couple of outfits for yard work or hard play
time. Get them used to changing out of their good clothes when they
get home from church or school.
All of this can go in one suitcase or one dresser drawer. LOL! If you
have more clothes than this in your child's room, you are asking for
stuff to be continually pulled out and messed up. Then clothes you
wish to hand down need to be removed and put into size/age specific
boxes and inventoried so you know what is there. If there are way too
many clothes, bless other children with our excess. The more you have
the more laundry is going to pile up. With less clothing you will be
forced to adhere to a regular laundry schedule. No more waiting till
all the clothes are dirty and the piles of laundry overwhelm you. When
you hoard things, you are not blessing people and you are just plain
being selfish!
Let go of this and save yourself a lot of headaches and laundry.
Are you ready to FLY with lighter baggage?
- FlyLady
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Get children to help...
Dear FlyLady,
How can I get my children to help around the house. I don't want them to grow up and be slobs?
Dear Friend,
This question has been asked of me several times a day. I have heard
everything from I don't want my kids to be slobs to I don't want them
to expect me to wait on them hand and foot.
I have told you many times that I can not preach what I don't
practice. This goes for you too.
Why in the world would your children want to keep their rooms clean,
when the rest of the house looks trashed????
You cannot tell them to clean their room with yours looks awful.
I have also told you when I make mistakes. I am human. You all seem
to relate to me when I have the same problems that you have. Your
children will appreciate your honesty as you do mine.
I want you all to have a family meeting and tell your family that you
have not set the example for them that they need as far as your
housekeeping skills are concerned. Apologize to them. Ask for their
help and tell them you want to change and you have found this bossy
woman to tell you what to do. Explain how our group works. Let them
read my welcome letter. Share your dreams for your home and your
family.
When you finally set a Flybaby example for your babies, you will
begin to see the whole family pitch in, because a clean and tidy home
frees everyone up to have friends over without embarrassment. Your
children will be so proud of their Mom and themselves. I promis this
will happen. Baby steps.
Here is the God Breeze that filled my sails today.
*****************************
Dear FlyLady,
My 10 year old son agonizes over his room. I shared what I was just
starting to do with you ladies and invited him to become a "Flybaby"
with me. We went into his room and decided that his nightstand would
make a great "kitchen sink". We did our first hotspot together
yesterday. He chose the clothes on his floor. Tomorrow he will
follow our morning routine and has decided that his dresser top will
be his next hotspot. We will put the rest of his room in 30 gallon
Rubbermaid containers and tackle them one by one. He's excited that
he doesn't have to clean his room all at once. I told him "it didn't
get that way in a day, and you won't have to clean it up in a day".
I can't begin to tell you what a relief it is to not have to
pressure him to get his room clean in one full swoop. I feel free
and the guilt has lifted.
BTW, when I first made my sink clean and shiny I found areas
to clean on the drain area that I never knew existed before - LOL! I
was also able to take that monstrosity of a dish drain off the
counter and shove it under the sink. Thanks, FlyLady, for the sink
full of soapy water idea while making dinner. Dishes are done in no
time. Why didn't I think of all this before?
**********************************
FlyLady here; Is this not a revelation!! Two generations of Flybabies
under one roof.
Talk to your family, don't yell and fuss. Set your example and work
together.
- FlyLady
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Children's Books...
Dear FlyLady,
How do I get rid of the over 500 children's books that I have?
Dear Friend,
I know that this is a very hard thing to do; but I want you to stop and think about how you are robbing other children from the joy of reading. This is hoarding; plain and simple. Now I am not telling you to get rid of all of these books. You can keep the precious books that your children beg for you to read over and over. You can even keep the 1st editions.
Donate the books to friends, your church, your local library, a day care center, leave them at doctor's offices and just release them for the world to enjoy. Children love books, so make room for new books in their young life. If you need help then go to http://bookcrossing.com/and you can watch the books change lives.
I asked my friend Joan Carris about this too. She agreed with me and said that we need to make room for new books to intrigue our babies. She has a great website with reading lists for all ages. http://joancarrisbooks.com/
In honor of our Super Fling Boogie; go pick out just 5 books to donate.
- FlyLady
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Saving our Lunches...
Dear FlyLady,
Leanne,
First of all THANK YOU for SAVING OUR DINNERS! My daughter who has sensory issues and developmental issues is very hard to please food-wise and actually ate and asked for more of the Cajun Salmon I prepared from your book and LIKED IT! She usually won't touch any type of fish. She has eaten and liked so many of the dishes I have tried so far from your book. You have no idea what a blessing this has been to me.
Now for the question... have you every thought about Saving our Lunches? I would do just about anything to have your help on fixing this nightmare meal as well. It's the same ole same ole, everyday (and not very nutritious either).
Thank you Leanne!
Cindi
Flapping in CA
Dear Friend,
First off, hooray for you for trying something new, even with a child who has some issues that made you doubtful to begin with. Parents that try new things with their kids will be amazed that they will come around if you don't give up. So kudos to you!
Second off, regarding your question on Saving Lunches--my hands are full with dinner! :-)I have been asked this several times (plus to Save Breakfast, LOL). My answer to this and the breakfast question is the same: this is where your Perpetual Pantry comes in. You have to have it stocked and ready to go and then in the morning or at lunch, you can offer a choice between two things or depending on the child/children, you tell them what is for breakfast/lunch.
Here is an example, regarding breakfast, from my Perpetual Pantry you will find (that includes the fridge and freezer): waffles, French toast, oatmeal, grits, 2 types of cold cereal, bread and eggs. See that? Seven different breakfasts. I don't give my children the choice of all these, I will tell them it's waffles or French toast this morning, which would you like? I use a really good quality, whole grain, the toaster variety without hydrogenated oil that I get at Trader Joe's. Not everyone has TJ's, but if you do, check out the frozen breakfast selections. You can get good quality toaster products at a health food store, too, though that's expensive. A good option and the most frugal is to make your own on the weekend, triple the batch and freeze for during the week, too. That's another excellent option. Just read the ingredients on what you buy. Remember, if you can't pronounce it or identify it, chances are good you don't want to eat it. On my website, www.savingdinner.com there is a great pancake mix you might want to try. Just click on Food for Thought once you get there.
On to lunch. There are lots of products in the grocery store that are marketed as "lunches" and we all know that this is nutritionally inferior food, loaded with fat and chemicals and is outrageously expensive. What to do? Develop a mindset for the next day's lunch while making dinner. For example, you made Cajun Salmon last night let's say. Make one extra piece and the next day, make that into salmon salad sandwiches (use like tuna). Or extra chicken for a chicken sandwich, or anything leftover from dinner is great. Keep fruits you know she loves and will eat. Have other things like whole grain bagels and cream cheese, string cheese, yogurts, pita chips (make yourself: cut whole grain mini-pita breads into chips, lightly brushed with vegetable oil and crisped up in the oven). Those baby carrots are wonderful, with dip if you like. Leftover soups, stews, etc. all work, too.
Keeping your Perpetual Pantry well stocked and an eye for the next day as you're making dinner will totally change the lunchtime panic mode, I promise.
Hope that helps!
Leanne
FlyLady here; We have Leanne's book Saving Dinner in our FLY Shop
http://flylady.net/pages/FlyShop_BSD.asp
It is on Amazon too. If you have not tried her Menu Mailer then by all mean check out the new sample recipes she has posted on her website for Super Fling Boogie!
http://savingdinner.com/menu_mailer/free_dinner_menu.html
- FlyLady
Monday, June 30, 2008
Rollercoaster Ride...
Dear FlyLady,
I have been receiving your mailings for about 3 years or more. I have been through many stages of success and "warfare". Right now, I am in a state of "warfare". I'll do really well for weeks or months, and then, suddenly a decline begins to happen somewhere, criticisms begin to come from others who don't understand or don't appreciate what I do, or I begin to get frustrated with my dh and 3 children ages 7,5,& 21mo., because they seem blind to the fact that I'm trying exhaustively to keep order. I try to keep the "blessing" mentality, and I do great for a while, but in times of extreme "warfare" I have become almost depressed or apathetic, then the house becomes a wreck again. How can I overcome this rollercoaster ride of success and warfare?? Please "rebuke" me and guide me and I will be grateful. Thanks.
Flying hi and lo in Georgia!
Dear Friend,
The problem as I see it is that you are at war with your family! They are not your enemies. They are your babies and they are only following your example. Quit treating your family as if they were your enemies and entice them to be on your team. You are not establishing your routines. So they are not see the happy results. You set the tone for your home. If you act like they are your enemies; they will be!
Even your 21 month old baby can put away toys if you will make it fun. Children love routines. Children love timers. Children need parents to set the example and be parents. NOT THE ENENY!
Establish a morning routine and a before bed routine. Take babysteps. You may have too much clutter too. When you have lots of clutter and toys around; the babies can pull out more than you can put back. Get them to help you bless others with some of this toy clutter. Once it is out of the house you will have less to pick up. Then each hour at the top of the hour; play "the put away toy" game.
- FlyLady
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